Thursday, August 5, 2010

my struggle for indidviduality

in high school most of everybody strives to b accepted and appreciated. in the beginning that child tht was looking for popularity was me. at a point in time i acheived tht goal...then i started to think. i started to think abt my dislikes and likes & who did i jhorden s'jarel hunter want to b. after awhile i realized tht everybdy wudnt like me and it ddnt matter or hw hard i tried or what i did. i soon started to open my eyes to those around me. most of my friends were my friends bcuz of my social status and the relationships i had wit the ppl i considered closest to me ddnt have substance. now that high school is over i have been stuggling to reach my goal of finding my own individuality. i kno what i like and i now kno what i dislike. i am not perfect of course so i continue to refine myself more and more everyday. im tryin to make myself a better person for me & not others! now that college is imminent i tink its more and more important to figure out who i am and who i want to be. i will have so much more freedom and responsibilty that wit out having goals or bein focused i cud b swayed in any direction the wind blows. unfortunately, i live at home wit my grand parents who insist on babying me and hardly give me a chance to show any individuality. i kno that the college life will b a struggle for me bcuz i will have to learn for myself hw to b more independent, bt i kno this is something i want. almost everyday i get a different talk abt college frm different older friends and family members and ever since graduation it hasnt slipped my mind. in a way i am nervous abt the outcome and the struggle bt at the same time i am so anxious to step out of the box my family has me in and explore things for myself and grow into the person i want to b.