my struggle for indidviduality

in high school most of everybody strives to b accepted and appreciated. in the beginning that child tht was looking for popularity was me. at a point in time i acheived tht goal...then i started to think. i started to think abt my dislikes and likes & who did i jhorden s'jarel hunter want to b. after awhile i realized tht everybdy wudnt like me and it ddnt matter or hw hard i tried or what i did. i soon started to open my eyes to those around me. most of my friends were my friends bcuz of my social status and the relationships i had wit the ppl i considered closest to me ddnt have substance. now that high school is over i have been stuggling to reach my goal of finding my own individuality. i kno what i like and i now kno what i dislike. i am not perfect of course so i continue to refine myself more and more everyday. im tryin to make myself a better person for me & not others! now that college is imminent i tink its more and more important to figure out who i am and who i want to be. i will have so much more freedom and responsibilty that wit out having goals or bein focused i cud b swayed in any direction the wind blows. unfortunately, i live at home wit my grand parents who insist on babying me and hardly give me a chance to show any individuality. i kno that the college life will b a struggle for me bcuz i will have to learn for myself hw to b more independent, bt i kno this is something i want. almost everyday i get a different talk abt college frm different older friends and family members and ever since graduation it hasnt slipped my mind. in a way i am nervous abt the outcome and the struggle bt at the same time i am so anxious to step out of the box my family has me in and explore things for myself and grow into the person i want to b.

HAPPY NEW YEARS!!

2009 was a great year. it flew by quick! i shed tears, rejoiced, learned lessons, and made mistakes. i am greatful i have made it this far. even though i wnt thru alota hardships i learned alot and grew so much as a person. i cant really think of any new years resolutions. i kno there are probably things about me that i need to improve bt it has been a work in progress already. the only thing that i want for the year 2010 is at the least a 50% scholarship for college. my main focus is track. i plan on improving myself as a runner and helping to improve our team. i hope yu set great goals for the new year and reach them. yu should always strive to better yourself. HAVE A HAPPY NEW YEARS!

Shakin My Weave

alot has changed in the life of Jhorden S'Jarel Hunter. my hair has been growing successfully since the day i cut it. i am happy with my look and the changes that came along with it. little did i know that when i decided to cut my hair alot more would change about me then the look. i look at alot of things differently nw. i appreciate natural women alot more than i used to. the most recent thing is my weave. alota ppl have been wondering what happend nd why did i go back to the hair, but if it was up to me i wudnt have added any more hair then what was on my head to start wit. the last appointment i had with my stylist went completely wrong. for some odd reason she figured that if she edged me up in the front i would look better then i already did. unfortunately it ddnt turn out so well. i felt as if i appeared more masculine than i wanted. the last thing i wud want is to attract ppl of the same sex. my grandparents opposed weave, but i felt as if it was a necessity. im nt used to wearing weave for very long but ill get used to it. at the moment i am content and very happy. id rather go out into the public with somebody elses hair then walk out lookin a fool. hopefully my hair will grow back as healthy as it was and i wnt have to b bound to weave for much lnger.

Amber Rose??

amber rose??? thats what i have been getting alot...i love this grl she is so pretty and fashionable!

back from my blogger break

hey bloggers...its been so long since i have actually posted anything. everything lately has been so hectic...my cpu caught a virus, i have been running for homecoming queen, and just the usual things that come along with a new school year. alot of things have been on my mind lately...i recently had a convo with a close friend of mines. i swear he is like a genius of some type. he makes me think about things in ways that i would have never began to....just listening to him give his opinion helped me come to the conclusion that the human race will never really gain all the knowlege that their is. even the geniuses of this society think they kno it all but does the number of years that you attend schooling or the number of books read or written or philosophies cum up with mean you have knowlege??? noway...us humans havent even scraped the surface of TRUE knowlege. its hard to believe. humans are very clever dnt get me wrong we have come up wit the best inventions over the years but humans limit their knowlege to the books that other humans have written. i believe school is there for us to learn how to think nd use the knowlege that we recieve from them to go out and seek something greater. knowlege is based on more than books and experiences. its something way deeper....

A JOURNEY IN ITSELF

i actually decided to go get a fade after my cut. it doesnt really look any shorter but it looks a lil more appealing to me. i never really thought my hair could effect anybody negatively...but recently i have been hit wit some honest criticism from people who really dont like what i have done. but the question that has been on my mind lately is what does hair have to do with beauty??? my grandmother tells me everyday that this hair style doesnt become me and it hides my beauty. i think if anybody thinks im beautiful that it doesnt matter what i do to my hair...that shouldnt change anything. i have learned that being different is being BOLD and it takes a strong person to stand out...its not easy. TRUST. this hair cut has boosted my self esteem and i feel better about myself. its helping me to embrace ME for the way I am. and at this moment in time i am LOVING ME! yeah people have been rude but i expected it...its only giving me more push to go in the opposite direction of everybody else.

a new me

this is the new mee! this is a new begginning for many more things than my hair but my hair is whats the most appearant. it was a lil emotional i cant lie...grls get so attatched to their hair bt it felt great. it took alota guts to do sumthin so bold. for all the girls and women out there who have done this i give you props. once you cut it all off there is no going back. im still learning how to manage my hair and looking for new styles and better products...id love any good advice or comments. :) .